Upcoming Artists: An In depth Analysis on Lizzy McAlpine’s Music

Written by Nguyen Hoang VY Ngan

Image source: Atwood Magazine

Pushing It Down and Praying (PIDP) is track 2 on disc 2 on Older (and Wiser) by Lizzy McAlpine. Older was a gut-wrenching piece that really expressed the harsh realities of growing up, loss of innocence, and the transition between war with the passage of time to accepting it. Her music’s popularity mainly started on tiktok, specifically Spring Into Summer, her other songs, specifically Older started to gain more traction, this fame ultimately led to PIDP where it went viral over tiktok. Honestly, OAW won me over before I could hear a single note. Was it a pun? Was it the fact that Older was so captivating and destructive to me? Ultimately, I don’t know. I just knew that when I listened to OAW, I would never ever stop listening. 

She starts her chorus with “I wanna feel guilty, I wanna feel that it's wrong”. It’s worth saying that it’s clear she doesn’t feel guilty, she doesn’t feel like she’s doing anything wrong. She knows that it’s wrong to love someone while still being attached to another. Her guilt would restore her “moral order” and make what’s happening to her normal. 

The chorus continues to show how she wants to move forward, she wants to make it different, she wants that reassurance from her partner. She finishes her chorus with “He gives what he can, But now I don't know what he's givin' for”. It shows that she knows he's trying but she doesn't understand why he is because she knows she can't give him anything back. 

The rest of the song is repetitive, until the bridge where she sings “He is stable, you are deep”. Lizzy is expressing the contrast she has between her two partners, one partner offers general security, however lacks the emotional connection or depth. On the other hand, there’s this partner, or idolized imagination of said partner with that emotional intensity that she desires in her relationship. The bridge finishes with “I know just how to get what I need”. Here, she’s acknowledging some sort of accountability. She admits that she knows exactly how to feel better.

In her final verse, she says “I wanna know peace again, Wanna be singin' a different song”. She expresses how she can’t find peace until it’s that one specific person understanding her, additionally “Wanna be singin’ a different song” show’s that she doesn’t want to be expressing or experiencing her vulnerability and struggle. She ends the song with “I’m pushing it down and prayin’”, representing that in the meantime, she’ll be pushing the question down to avoid any inner or outer conflict.